reconstruction a long ways away

I found out some upsetting news yesterday. I go to see my reconstruction Doc next month but I will not be able to get into surgery ( to get my expander put in) for a least two months after that. I have waited patiently for the six months to pass. I am ready. I am finding that trying on summer clothes is depressing. Nothing looks good. Having one implant and the other side is sunken in and flat, sucks. I have decided to use my blog to express my emotions that are going crazy. I have been through way to much. I also am still dealing with the pain 80% of the time... Degenerative disc disease, I am not told. In my neck.... I just want to go back to the day when I felt whole and happy. God I ask for comfort.