Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Returning the Kindness. On a Tuesday. Tuesdays are Great!
I did go to see Doc. Ali today and he removed my drain tubes. I feel like a new women. Boob less again, but feeling good! I was just starting to get some breast and now...flat as a board, flatter then the initially mastectomy, not a pretty site. I did have a nice long talk with Dr. Ali. This was my first visit alone, Keith did not leave work to be with me. I can handle it by myself now. Doctor Ali again assured me that all will work out (easy for him to say, but I go with it) .In a few days I will get fitted for my special bras and get prosthesis to go in my bras. So under clothing I will look somewhat normal. Because I sure do not look normal right now. I try not to look at my chest too much it brings me down. I should be feeling great for my trip to Indiana though, for Joys daughters wedding, next month. Dr Ali agreed to wait until I come back to cut me open again, to put the expander's back in. Amen. I also can go back to work next week. Things are looking up. I Hope they are still going to take me back. My boss never called me back today. Something else I would like to share.....Since I was diagnosed with breast cancer I have been able to see the kindness in peoples hearts. My family, friends,my new friends I have met online, and even people at Keith's work have really amazed me. I am still receiving kindness and friendship as I write. They have all did more for me than I had expected. I have kinda been getting spoiled a bit! I have been on the receiving end for the last few months for sure! I know first hand what a great feeling it is knowing people are kind enough to want to be there to support me, and help me in many different ways. Today I got to return the good deeds. Keith's long time friends (Mike and Roger), their mother, was in the hospital on Life Support last week. Her sugar dropped to life threatening status. It was a miracle that she pulled through it, Thank God. But then, this week she returned to the hospital only to be told she had a aneurysm in her heart. She again made it through again. She was on my heart last night, so today after my doctors appointment I took a ride to the hospital to visit her. I have known Mrs Stein for as long as I have known Keith, (23 years). I always enjoyed our talks when I would see her. She is like me, she loves to talk. I just went for a short half hour visit but, I did not realize the impact I would have on her and her husband, Mr. Stein (Paul).Mike called me to tell me how much she appreciated me coming up to see her. She was so happy, he said, after I left. Mrs. Stein was so worried about me, so I was able to show her I was fine, (gotta be). We had a nice visit, did lots of catching up, I prayed with them and even invited them to my Church. Of course I invite all my family and friends I love and care about to come fellowship with me. I get FED big time at my Church. If you have never attended Blessed Hope, it is unexplainable. It took me some time of attending to really appreciate what I was hearing, but I can say now...... I Love it. Sometimes what I hear is not always what I want to hear, but I need it, it is Gods word and it helps me to try my best to be a better person. I understand what my friend Liane always said..... she trys her best not to do things that she knows would not make Jesus happy, she does not want to let him down. She is aware of that always! I understand it now! So I try and try to make him happy and do my best. I am aware. Today I felt My Lord's" presence. Like he was smiling down at me. I let Mr and Mrs Stein know I really would like to help in any way I can. Mr Stein actually got chocked up and said how much he loved his wife (so sweet) and did not want to lose her. I have lots of free time until I go back to work, so hopefully I can be helpful in some way to them. In our talk, I was able to explain to them that my "faith" keeps me strong, even though I have the "C" word, And I told her I thank God for the peace he has given me through this whole experience. And I think he wants to keep her around for a bit longer. Her family relies on her so very much, lol. She laughed at that comment. I went on my way home after our visit.. In the car ride home I did pray that God show me how to be more understanding with my husband. Something about having cancer, It makes me want 150% of Keith's time. Like 90% is not enough for me! I know "My Lord" is sometimes disappointed in me and I am working on that. Today made me realize that in the blink of an eye..... The one you love could be gone.It was a wake up call for me. It did feel great being on the giving end this day.Thanks to all my family (especially Keith and all of his help) and my friends (especially Joy, she has that special "giving" heart), I was able to give back a bit of what has been given to me.