Tuesday, September 30, 2008

second guessing myself

I just had to blog for a quick minute. I have been so busy with the boys and hockey games ,and I am back to work and have been busy with the babies that I have not had time to even get online. I went to see my surgeon today. I wanted his opinion on this chemo option. He did feel that he got all my cancer but at the "board meeting" the doctors felt I should do chemo. He said that cancer is a systematic disease. I could have cancer cells still inside me somewhere. He again said this type is not so "cut and dry" and it is my decision. Why do I second guess myself. I thought I had my mind made up. But then again, I think to myself "I went as far as to have BOTH my breasts removed and I would be upset if I did not do chemo and I end up getting cancer again, when I could have killed any cells that might still be inside of me now." I am again so so confused. This has to be the most hardest decision I have ever had to make. I am asking to God to give me an answer but so far I am getting no help. I do not want to worry anymore. I am still leaning toward NO CHEMO, but I am going to make an appointment at Karmos Cancer Center and get their opinion. I need another doctor to assure me that chemo does not work on my type of breast cancer. I do not understand why I am getting two different opinions. I will try not to get all stressed out.

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